Service

My girlfriend and I love a good meal out, and because we don't have a lot of money it's a rare treat rather than weekly event for us.  We don't go to the most expensive places, but because it's a treat - something we've probably saved up for - we do expect high standards.  We know that we're not going to get lobster or foie gras, but we expect the basics to be done right.

Service should be something that cheaper restaurants excel in.  It doesn't cost anything except proper training, and in the UK, where waiting tends to be a casual job, all that needs is one really good front-of-house manager on a proper salary to train up the minimum-wage students and keep his or her eagle eye on them.

This has been on my mind because I've been away for a few days and eating out on a tight budget in the city of York.

The city didn't immediately endear itself to me as I arrived starving hungry without any sort of guide and started wandering around in search of sustenance.  I'd reached that stage of hunger where I was starting to get angry with the whole world and just needed to sit down and eat.  I passed a few pubs which looked attractive, but I won't go in anywhere to eat if it doesn't have a menu outside (or at least some idea of the prices - lots of pubs have a poster with "Curry Night Tonight - Curry and a Beer £7.99" or suchlike).  I finally came across Saffron Desi: an Indian restaurant advertising an Early Bird menu of any starter then any main course + sundries (sic) for £10, available until seven o'clock.  It was quarter to seven, so I went in and asked for a table for one for the Early Bird menu.

What followed was a litany of basic (and avoidable) mistakes.  The greeting waiter had to go and ask the manager if I could still have the Early Bird menu so soon before it was due to finish, leaving me standing by the door feeling like I'd asked for something awkward.  Then he led me to a table without saying anything, so I was still unsure and formulated a backup plan involving biryanis and thalis to ensure I came out without a whacking great bill.  Another waiter came to take my order before I'd even finished reading the list of starters so I had to tell him to give me a few more minutes (on that point, fixed menus really should be very short.  If the menu's really simple, the customer is more likely to spot something he likes immediately and decide to come in.  It also makes it easier for the kitchen to get the food out - if customers are paying low prices, you need to turn the tables quickly.  The idea of offering anything from the menu, especially popular in Indian restaurants, doesn't seem to be very effective at either to me).  Then they brought my starter before I'd even finished the poppadums.  One of the waiters barely spoke English, another kept leaning in so close that I thought he was going to kiss me.  At the end they miscalculated my bill (charging me for my one drink twice) so I had to get it corrected.  Then one waiter brought my change and another came to collect it again, thinking it was a tip, before I'd had the chance to put it back in my wallet!  The food was crap too, but we'll leave that aside for the moment.

Like I say, I understand the need to turn tables quickly.  But this was a biggish restaurant with less than a quarter of the tables taken - they really didn't need to rush me like that. The menu was poorly written, the special menu was ambiguous and they made too many mistakes.

York opened itself up to me after that, and the rest of my stay was fabulous - with the meals a particular highlight.  The following day I had lunch from The Old Siam, a Thai place across the road from the disastrous Indian.  I arrived late-ish in the day for the lunch menu and the diners already there looked like they were finishing up, so I was slightly surprised to be greeted with such an enthusiastic wai and smile and asked hesitantly if the lunch menu was still on.  But of course it was, and I was shown to my seat.  The lunch menu was simply set out - about £5 for one course or £7 for two, three starters and five mains.  I wasn't that hungry so just had a main and a beer.  It was absolutely delicious, and a really generous portion - chicken with cashew nuts and chilli, served with a mound of egg fried rice and a salad garnish.  More than enough for lunch, and with my beer the bill came to about £8.50.  It had the feel of a family setup and by the time I'd finished Mum had emerged from the kitchen and was eating her lunch a few tables up from me.  Despite that, I didn't feel rushed at any point and the attentive-but-not-annoying waitress waved me goodbye with a wai and a smile just as big as the one she'd greeted me with.

Le Rustique was another highlight.  When I clocked its competitively-priced, concise two- or three-course menu during my day's browsing I knew I had to return for a meal.  Every item on it looked good, and the price was very tempting.  I showed up for dinner before seven, but it was already packed - and deservedly so.  The chap who greeted me and showed me to my table was older than the average British waiter and had a French accent, so I assume he was part of the core team.  The waitress who looked after me from then on was young and English - clearly a student - but had a lovely polite and cheerful manner.  I was given time to read the menu, the service was fast and efficient, the food was excellent (crab cakes to start, then confit duck with dauphinoise potatoes if you must know) and it was all so slick that it wasn't until I was standing on the pavement outside that I realised I'd been there less than an hour.  So, I was in there for less time than I'd been in Saffron Desi, both for two courses, and yet I hadn't felt rushed and there hadn't been any mistakes!  There was only a cigarette paper between the prices, too.  Top stuff.  I left a bigger tip.

Back home, and my girlfriend decided to take me out for lunch today as I'd been off gallivanting without her.  We went to a local pub where I'd been alone before, but that she hadn't tried.  Their Unique Selling Point is the gourmet burger and they're bloody excellent.  Whenever I've been before, the service has been slightly amateurish but the food's made up for it.  I've been talking these burgers up to my girlfriend for a while, so I feel slightly responsible for them.

Today went beyond amateurish.  I grabbed a table while my girlfriend went to order.  She came back with the drinks, and the news that we would have to return to the bar to order food at half one.  It was about quarter past at this point.  She had asked if they could just write the order down and put the order through when the kitchen opened - we weren't in any hurry - but this was apparently too difficult.  I went back at half one and ordered, to be told it would take at least half an hour.  Like I say, we weren't in a hurry - but the first order of the day shouldn't be delayed, should it?  When I returned to the table with the news my girlfriend said what I'd been thinking: "Chef turned up hungover today then."

We didn't really enjoy the time we were waiting because of the noise from the big TVs showing football at huge volume to the four blokes that wanted to watch it in the public bar.

They operate that terrible pub system - altogether too common - of getting waiters to take food to tables, then go and collect cutlery and sauces.  The customer is left with an awkward minute of looking at hot food, desperate to dig in.  Someone will always take something off the plate with their fingers at this point then look guilty.

The Mulberry has an excellent chef - I've been eating there for more than a year and the burgers have been consistently top-notch, and good value - but it really needs to get its front-of-house sorted out, and it needs to decide if it's the sort of pub that serves fantastic food, or football on big screens.  I'm really sorry, but it can't be both.

So, my pleas to all restaurants as a customer.  You can do all these things without spending any money, and they will make the difference between a recommendation and a complaint.  The food needs to be good too, of course, but without good service the message will be lost.

If you're putting on a cheap special (mid-week, early evening, pre theatre, whatever) make the terms so clear that they can go on the A-board out front where passers-by can read them and decide to come in on the hoof.  Customers don't want to embarrass themselves by asking if they are eligible for the cheap option - it should be clear as glass.

Make the special a proper meal.  My curry looked really lonely with nothing but naan for company at Saffron Desi.

Keep the special menu clear and concise.  Customers will decide in a snap and will not read through a hundred variations on curry.

Make sure your waiting staff have some social skills.  If that's not possible, at least make sure they speak English.

You need to turn tables quickly, but don't make us feel rushed.  Especially if the restaurant's nearly empty - that's just insulting.

Show the cheapskate customers the same level of politeness and attention that you show those eating a la carte.

Cutlery arrives before the food.

If a customer comes to the bar wanting to order food, never, ever, ever tell them to go away and come back later.  They'll just go away.